Fun and fancy things to do with a needle other than sewing…

Posted: October 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

Today S and I went to the clinic for chorionic villus sampling, which is a placental tissue sampling technique that allows early detection of chromosomal defects in the developing sproutling.  In preparation for this there were yet more sonograms.  We now have a 38.1mm fetus, which is about the size of a fig.  (It is a strange fact that throughout the prebirth developmental stages of a protohuman its size is given with a comparison to fruit.  I believe this to be a sleeper plot by Jonathan Swift.)  Our Fetal Overlord showed off a fair amount during the sonogram, flailing about and even kind of jumping, clearly in practice for the dynamic jailbreak ahead.

 

When the doctor came in to perform the procedure, he began by calling S “Mrs. <redacted>” which made me twitch a bit, but we did not correct him; the goal was to reduce the total tension in the room rather than increase it.  After the doctor did his own orientational sonogram, he determined he’d get the sample through the abdomen.  Hence, a twelve-foot-long hypodermic javelin was inserted through S’s belly, through her uterus and into the placenta, after which he wiggled it around a little to get the tissue.

 

I really, really don’t like needles.

 

Everything looked promising in terms of the developmental progress of Funkmaster Fetus, and the doctor and nurses all felt that there was nothing to worry about.  I’m still really hoping that two weeks from now we’ll see a perfectly boring chromosome readout, though.

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Comments
  1. After the doctor did his own orientational sonogram

    I envision the doc doing an sonogram on himself to figure out which way he is facing.

  2. Sasha says:

    Whoa! I didn’t even notice him saying “Mrs.” I was probably distracted by the prospect of him sticking a needle thorough my stomach. I wonder if I would have corrected him if I had heard him… Maybe, because I’m a stickler. Maybe not, because he was about to stick a needle through my stomach.

  3. 1. Congratulations, from a dad with a whole year of experience. It’s something, ain’t it?

    2. The fruit thing continues, though they start adding vegetables at some point. And nobody thinks it’s funny when you say the baby is “now too big to fit in the oven,” despite all that. Nobody except me and my babymomma, at least.

    3. http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2011/10/on-parenthood.html pretty well nails it. It’s worth mentioning that the 51/49 rule is over the course of many months, and (at least for our monkey) kids like to front-load the 49%. This just makes the 51% way more incredible and fun.

    Good luck!

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